MASTER SHIFU AND PARENTING

Have you ever seen the movie "Kungfu Panda"? You probably think I'm crazy saying this but I absolutely love it! 

Animation movies are so entertaining in that the creators can imagine anything and put life-like touches to it. I know it is all fantasy and fiction in the animation world but the relationship aspect of the characters is quite realistic. Their laughs, their cries, their sad feelings and every other feeling they display seem to reflect just the kind of feelings we have in our everyday life. 

Do you remember the part where Po the panda Dragon Warrior was with the Furious Five at the Jade Palace and Tai Lung was brought up? Tai Lung was a fierce fighter trained at the Jade Palace by Master Shifu who adopted him as a son. He trained hard hoping to be the Dragon Warrior one day. When he learned that the Master Oogway decided not to give him the prestigeous title of being the Dragon Warrior, he revolted violently. He went beserk and destroyed much of the Valley of Peace. In his rampage, he rushed to the Jade Palace where the Dragon Scroll was located and tried to grab it himself. Master Shifu and Master Oogway saw him rush in, Master Shifu leapt to stop him but failed to strike him down because he saw in Tai Lung the cute baby snow leopard he used to cuddle when he was little. Master Shifu was supposed to strike down rebellious Tai Lung but the softness of his heart toward Tai Lung prevented him and it nearly resulted in the desecration of the sacred Dragon Scroll. Because Master Shifu failed to stop Tai Lung, he himself got hurt and Master Oogway had to step in and disarm Tai Lung with his nerve-paralyzing kungfu move. 

Master Shifu's contradiction as a tough kungfu teacher yet a soft parent was apparent when the true nature of Tai Lung was revealed. He just couldn't get himself to do what was needed to stop a behaviour that required nothing less than an equal restraining force. Tai Lung wasn't interested in discussion nor negotiation. He resorted to the misuse of his kungfu skills that Master Shifu had taught him and used it for his selfish ambition. He was even prepared to kill his own "father". But even at that point, Master Shifu still could not put an end to his adopted son's fury. His heart as a father would not allow him cause physical harm to Tai Lung. He was soft when he should have been tough. It nearly cost him his life and the total disregard for all that Master Oogway had built for the preservation of Kungfu.

Well, that is fiction. Just a story. But the story portrays a picture of how parents often fail to correctly discipline their children due to their softness toward them. It is perhaps a universal failure on the part of parents.

There is another story about a father and his rebellious children who did something they were not supposed to do. Their wrong decision resulted in an almost permanent breakdown of a beautiful relationship. The damage to the relationship was so bad that it required the sacrifice of the father himself to mend it.

The story is found in an ancient text of what many believe to be the true account of the beginning of human civilization. It is the story of Adam and Eve. 

According to the book of Genesis in the Bible, God created the first man Adam and the first woman Eve in the Garden of Eden. They were like his children. They had a wonderful relationship and fellowship together until one day Eve was tempted by the devil and failed to resist the temptation. She committed the first offence in history and managed to get her husband Adam to do the same. Their disobedience broke God's heart because it damaged their relationship of trust. God, as a father, loved them unconditionally but because of their disobedience he had to take a very drastic measure to address the problem.

It is an universal truth that when it comes to love, we are often blind. Parents are often blinded to see the wrong in their children's lives because of their refusal to acknowlege reality. And the reality is, we are all prone to do the wrong thing. In Romans 3:23, the Bible says, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." The Bible makes it amply clear that there is no human being that is perfect and have not done the wrong thing. As a matter of fact, the Bible says we all have failed to achieve the standard of God's moral laws. Failure and refusal on the part of parents to fully acknowledge this reality in their children often lead to the complication of a problem and the perpetuation of a wrongful behaviour when it manifests itself. Because parents often mismanage their children's behaviourial problem and naughty kids almost always take advantage of their parents' softness, the longer a corrective action is delayed the bigger the problem grows. And it can lead to a near-total breakdown of anything that is sane. This failure on the part of parents can be very costly with little or no benefit to the erring child.

When God was confronted with the breaking news that his children had disobeyed him, his heart sank. He was devastated because he loved Adam and Eve very much. But a just God could not condone something that is wrong and so he had to deal with the problem and not give in to his emotions. He could not allow the wrong behaviour of Adam and Eve to go unchecked and not corrected. Therefore he altered the relationship he had with them. He put in place practical measures. He made them realise that their actions had consequences. According to the Bible, " The Lord God banished [Adam] from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from which he had been taken. After he drove the man out, he placed on the east side of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life." (Genesis 3:23, 24)

God made sure Adam and Eve could not continue to live in the same way and enjoy the relationship with him when they disobeyed. He drew the line and made it clear to them that they had just crossed it. He did this not because he was a mean father or some unloving God without a heart. He had to honor the trust they had. He had to maintain the moral standard. He couldn't let Adam and Eve's sin to go unpunished. And punish them he did. But before he punished them, he also made sure they could cope with the consequence of the punishment. Genesis 3:21 says, "The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them." In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Even needed no clothing and did not have to work for food but outside of the garden they had to face a very different reality. The first thing God did for them was to give them proper clothing to wear. This became the basis for them to start working for their livelihood and survival.

Like Master Shifu, many parents just cannot do the right thing when it comes to disciplining their children even when the red signal is brightly beeping. This only fuels the selfish motive and actions of children whose hearts are inclined toward self-satisfaction. Failure to appropriately discipline emboldens bad behaviour. It drains the sweet accord parents have with their children because while parents have unconditional love, erring children may not give a rats behind as long as they are in that self-centered mode. Children only fully realise parents' love when their self-centered world collapses and they realise the value of their parents' sacrifice. But too many parents reward wrong behaviour because they donot know how to deal with a problem or are unwilling to exercise parental authority correctly.

If parents donot learn lessons from the perfect parent - God - families will continue to see unnecessary heartaches and preventable headaches. Parents can and must draw a line children cannot cross without suffering consequences. God, the perfect parent did and so must all parents if they truly want to save their children from paths they know will lead to their destruction.